Birth Control

I like to think of myself as birth control for women with no children. If they ever wanted children when they see my team I like to hope they change there mind or maybe just decide on having just one. I always wanted a big family, I have three sisters and my mom made it look so easy. Of course I didn't realize then what she was going through as a parent but who does when you are little.

When I have friends over or even family I truly enjoy watching their faces as the night goes on. Through dinner, fights, diapers, bottles, etc. It almost is a look of terror. I wonder what it would be like to not be used to the madness in my house and step in. What a scary scenario. The drama queen on the front porch with half the boys in the neighborhood, the sports junkie glued to ESPN and screaming if anyone changes it, even though he has a TV in his room he wants to watch downstairs, the potty mouth running in and out not knowing what to do since he knows he is supposed to behave since we have company but really doesn't want to and wondering how far he can push me, the spoiled one screaming to change ESPN to Sponge bob while playing with Polly Pockets that the confused one is attempting to eat. And I of course making dinner.

Most of them move from the living room to the kitchen with me, I think they may be afraid of them all, I know I would be. They watch in horror as set the table, get them all rounded up, throw the confused one in the high chair and make them start eating. Dinner is done, they all scatter as I am getting annoyed with them. I sit down with my company and try to have an adult conversation but here comes the spoiled one in a tutu and wants you to watch her dance and the potty mouth comes running in which means he broke something, swore at someone or hit someone and I just wait for the doorbell to ring as a neighbor is coming to tell me what he has done now. I try to continue the adult conversation but now the confused one is screaming because the spoiled one is dancing around her and she wants her to stop.

The company tries to leave but may possibly be scared to go out the door since the drama queen and gang of boys are on the porch, but they manage to get out yelling thanks for dinner and not able to run fast enough to get out of the madness. It's funny when they call the next day and say thanks so much for dinner I just don't know how you do it. HA!!!! And they didn't even stick around for bath time.