Halloween

As Halloween approaches I think about when they were younger and there weren't as many of them. Now they seem to take over. Our living room floor the night of Halloween is like Willy Wonka's candy factory. The amount of candy they seem to bring home is crazy. I don't ever remember getting that much candy when I went out to trick or treat. Granted since I am a huge candy lover it isn't horrible but.....why do we have to spend all the money on this stuff?

First it's the pumpkins which we have to get 6 of them. One for each child and then of course the family pumpkin. When they are all lit it looks like the porch is on fire there are so many of the them. The carving of the 6 pumpkins alone is PURE madness.

Then of course the costumes which seem to cost at least $30 a piece and typically fall apart while they are trick or treating since they are made so cheap or they take them off since they "itch".

Ahhh then the purchase of candy. Since I happen to be poor and out trick or treating I don't buy this. It never fails, even though the porch light is out, that a million kids ring the doorbell. Usually we are home by then since and one of the kids give them a piece. Are you serious? The kid at the door is atleast 15 and has a bag full and you really want a pack of smarties from a 10 year old???

The difference I have noticed between when I was a kid and now is that we stayed out until we were forced to go in. My kids hit 25 or so house and they are finished. WHAT???? Free candy are you kidding me?? Go go go go!!! They always poop out typically at the end of our street.

Since we live in Indiana you never know what the weather will be like that night. So after the $30 for the costume you have to find something that will go under/over it so they stay warm just in case.

So that night of Halloween after spending $200 plus on costumes and pumpkins we head out the door to get the "free candy" and complain. I am so looking forward to this year.......

First Day of school

It's the day we all wait for, the day they FINALLY go back to school and this time the princess goes too!!

Clothes are laid out, backpacks are full of supplies, eveyone is in bed before 10:00, and I love it. They all went to bed very good and were so excited.

Morning: First day of school. The sports junkie is in a new school this year and scared to go (he is very timid), the bad one is ready with his crazy hair he refuses to let me cut and the princess is so excited she is up at 5:30 am. The confused one is even more confused and the dog is running in circles. It's ok though because no more calls of brothers fighting and screaming, no more coming home to a disaster after work, no more late nights outside, no more stinky kids (they have to shower every night before school). This is my favorite time of year.....

Afternoon: First day of school. The bad one calls to tell me the princess got off the bus with one of her friends (her sitter lives down the street from us, this is where she is supposed to go after school), the sports junkie calls to tell me he stayed after school for a golf meeting and needs picked up (???). NOOO this isn't supposed to be like this, not today, please no not today.
I tell the bad one to drag the princess to the sitters and the sports junkie to wait or get a ride. AHHH!

Evening: First day of school. I get home to a diaster, the bad one let the dog in and just roam around, papers that I need to fill out for school are everywhere, lists, and piles of things. What happened, where did my dream day go? Ok clean up the mess from the dog, fill out the papers for the kids, make dinner, and then try to get them inside. All of sudden they weren't so excited about school and coming in at 8:00, having to take a shower and get ready for bed.

Night: First day of school. The fights being. The bad one and sports junkie don't want to come in, the princess is crying because I yelled at her for getting off the bus with her friend, and the confused sits quietly, bottle in mouth, confused. I scream at them, while neighbors are looking on in sympathy, to GET IN! Then the battle between them about who gets in the shower first starts, I decide to make the bad one go first. He stomps upstairs, complaining the whole way, gets in and starts singing VERY LOUDLY for over 30 minutes. While waiting the sports junkie has started a game of Madden on his X-box, the princess is destoying her room trying to find an outfit for the next day that her teacher would like and the confused on is still sitting confused. The bad one gets out, I yell at the sports junkie to get in. He refuses, he's in the middle of a game, I don't care, tell him to turn it off and then he is mad. The sports junkie goes to the bathroom to get in the shower and yells because the bad one didn't put the shower curtain in and everyhing is soaked in the bathroom. Ok I don't care JUST GET IN! He does for maybe 3 minutes and is out, back to his game. I get the princess in bed after I throw the 50 different clothing items off her bed, I wipe down the confused one and put her in bed, try to bribe the bad one and sports junkie to go to sleep.

All is quiet for about 2 minutes. The sports junkie is playing his game, the bad one wants him to turn it off, the princess thinks she has changed her mind about what to wear and needs to go back through things and the confused is now screaming out of all the confusion. OOPSS! They pushed mommy to far, that's it Tv's off, lights out, no talking. They know how far they can go. At 11:00 pm I walk downstairs after all has been quiet for maybe 5 minutes, the dog has gotten into food on the table I haven't cleaned up yet. Now time to clean that up, watch the news and possibly get in bed before midnight.

So much for my dream day.

Cooper

So yes I have 5 children, 2 cats, and now recently a dog and 2 goldfish. Since hubby is gone all the time I got the bright idea to get a large dog so I would feel safe. Needless to say I am not sure if I feel safe or exhausted from picking up. Now keep in mind I work full time in the legal field so I am pretty exhausted.

We got Cooper, half golden retriver half alaskan malumute and 1.5 years old, 6 days ago. I have since forgot about laundry as it is pointless, swept my kitchen about 3 times a day, cleaned up pee (from dog and the confused one potty traning), thrown out numerous destroyed stuffed animals, and gotten plenty of exercise from the dog walking I wasn't even supposed to do.

Cooper is very large and does not seem to understand this yet. He likes to chase the confused one around when she poos in her pull up, and isn't sure what no means yet. He tends to be scared of the cats and wants to sleep in your lap (he is about 85 pounds).

So yes, I have officially lost my mind. I had a pinky swear from 4 children that they would help and all them seem to do is help dirty the house more. I am not sure what they thought I meant when I said "will you pinky swear you will help with the dog?" They possibly heard " mom will do everything like always" But I figure oh well I got 5 kids so what's a dog? We will see.

Burning

So being that I have 5 children and soooo young. :) I have to admit my uterues just isn't up to par. So my doctor, or "Dr.Hottie" as all the girls like to call him decides I need to have an endometrial ablation. Ok that doesn't sound to bad, if you don't know what this is it's more of a "I am going to give the inside of your uterus third degree burns if that is ok" procedure. SURE, Why not??? So I have this scheduled for Monday, hubby leaves early Tuesday for North Carolina but figure no big deal, I am the woman who was giving baths after my tubal and at the store after givig birth less then 48 of having number 4 this can't be that bad. AHHH!!!

This is all done outpatient so it can't be that bad right? WRONG!! Needless to say it is now Wednesday, I can't sleep because of the pain, the house is trashed, the kids have lost their minds, and no help. Any idea how hard it is to explain to the sports junkie and bad one what is wrong with mommy??? All the sports junkie says is "Are you dying, is it cancer, what is wrong with you?" And the bad one just keeps getting worse. With hubby gone things are normally better but without him this time is has become a total mess. Hopefully the burning stops very very soon. :)

Crazy things I say and hear

So laying in bed last night the spoiled one was brushing my hair "which I LOVE" and she keeps rubbing her hand over my hair and then brushing, I think nothing of this as I just love having my hair brush and few minutes go by and she says "just a little more spit and I think I'll have it mom" WHAT!!! Did she just say a little more spit??? I asked her what she was doing? The spoiled on replies "I need to put spit in your hair to make is smooth mommy." Good grief you have to be kidding me is this really my life? I was going to be in Congress one day and now I am laying in bed with a 5 year old not caring that she is putting spit in my hair because it is keeping her quiet and I actually am enjoying it.

I made me think of all the strange things I say in a day and hear in a day. So I thought I would put a few in here just to prove to myself I am not going crazy. So far today I have tried to pay attention to things and this is it, just SO far and it's only 3:00 pm


Don't wipe that booger on your brother!
Step away from the Dora cash register (sports junkie trying to play with the spoiled one's toys)
Her head fell off.
Where did her head go?
Wipe your butt good.
Make sure you flush the toilet.
Stop biting your toenails.
No brownines for breakfast.

That is just the beginning as I am writing my brain has decided to stop working as it does so many times. So many of us in this world for some strange reason decided to have children to make our lives whole. HA! Little did we know they would turn us into our parents who most of us said we would never become when we had kids. I like to think I am not the typical parent as I like to be as humorous in life as possible. But some days, days like today I see why all parents have gone insane, it's our children, they drive us there to that point. That point of no return, the point we never thought we could reach. All of you with children know what I am talking about, it's the point where we really don't care if there is spit in our hair.

A Shower

So as I was taking a shower tonight I was thinking about how long it had been since I had posted anything so I thought I should post. Before I can go into this story I have to tell you I have gone back to public service, THANK GOODNESS, the confused one is trying to walk and hubby is traveling all the time so I am once again doing this alone.



A few months ago I was at a friends and there was a girl there that said she was a "shower girl" a what? I want to be a shower girl too, how can I be one of those? What do you have to do to be able to stay in the shower for over 5 minutes? For over 14 years I have not had a shower in peace without someone knocking on the door, water pressure going to nothing, hearing screaming through my own singing with hopes to drown out the screaming I know I am going to hear.



So tonight as I am taking a shower it has been about 4 minutes and all is quiet?????? My normal shower time is about 5 minutes, I swear if they had speed showering as a competition I would win. I can wash, conditioner, shampoo and shave in about 5 to 6 minutes. So as I was listening to hear SOMETHING, there was nothing which scares me, what is going on out there? I jump out of the shower throw my hair in a towel throw on my robe and I am off, still wet of course trying to find out what they are all doing. Suddenly I hear giggling and the garage door shut as I was coming down the stairs so I do the whole "WHAT IS GOING ON DOWN THERE??" you have the bad one out of breath telling me he doesn't know anything. The sports junkie and spoiled one are in a bedroom playing (the sports junkie wants his own room so he is being nice right now thinking that will work, HA!) the confused one is in bed and the drama queen isn't home it HAS to be the bad one.

So I go out in the garage trying to find out what he has done, I scan and I see nothing out place. Back in the house, the towel is now falling off my head, the confused is awake from the garage door opening and closing who knows how many times. So I ask him again, WHAT IS GOING ON? He knows I am getting upset but still nothing, he doesn't know a thing. Well doesn't know a thing, it wasn't me, and I didn't do it all also live here but this time it wasn't one of them. The bad one can see my angry but isn't going to give up what is going on. I go back to the garage and open the door and go to take the trash out and my neighbor is out and tells me the bad one has been riding the garage door, WHAT!! I didn't even know you could do that. I swear what will they think to do next, I don't even want to know. Maybe I should never take a shower again because it is always things like this that happen to me. Like I said I want to be a "SHOWER GIRL!"