Crazy things I say and hear

So laying in bed last night the spoiled one was brushing my hair "which I LOVE" and she keeps rubbing her hand over my hair and then brushing, I think nothing of this as I just love having my hair brush and few minutes go by and she says "just a little more spit and I think I'll have it mom" WHAT!!! Did she just say a little more spit??? I asked her what she was doing? The spoiled on replies "I need to put spit in your hair to make is smooth mommy." Good grief you have to be kidding me is this really my life? I was going to be in Congress one day and now I am laying in bed with a 5 year old not caring that she is putting spit in my hair because it is keeping her quiet and I actually am enjoying it.

I made me think of all the strange things I say in a day and hear in a day. So I thought I would put a few in here just to prove to myself I am not going crazy. So far today I have tried to pay attention to things and this is it, just SO far and it's only 3:00 pm


Don't wipe that booger on your brother!
Step away from the Dora cash register (sports junkie trying to play with the spoiled one's toys)
Her head fell off.
Where did her head go?
Wipe your butt good.
Make sure you flush the toilet.
Stop biting your toenails.
No brownines for breakfast.

That is just the beginning as I am writing my brain has decided to stop working as it does so many times. So many of us in this world for some strange reason decided to have children to make our lives whole. HA! Little did we know they would turn us into our parents who most of us said we would never become when we had kids. I like to think I am not the typical parent as I like to be as humorous in life as possible. But some days, days like today I see why all parents have gone insane, it's our children, they drive us there to that point. That point of no return, the point we never thought we could reach. All of you with children know what I am talking about, it's the point where we really don't care if there is spit in our hair.

A Shower

So as I was taking a shower tonight I was thinking about how long it had been since I had posted anything so I thought I should post. Before I can go into this story I have to tell you I have gone back to public service, THANK GOODNESS, the confused one is trying to walk and hubby is traveling all the time so I am once again doing this alone.



A few months ago I was at a friends and there was a girl there that said she was a "shower girl" a what? I want to be a shower girl too, how can I be one of those? What do you have to do to be able to stay in the shower for over 5 minutes? For over 14 years I have not had a shower in peace without someone knocking on the door, water pressure going to nothing, hearing screaming through my own singing with hopes to drown out the screaming I know I am going to hear.



So tonight as I am taking a shower it has been about 4 minutes and all is quiet?????? My normal shower time is about 5 minutes, I swear if they had speed showering as a competition I would win. I can wash, conditioner, shampoo and shave in about 5 to 6 minutes. So as I was listening to hear SOMETHING, there was nothing which scares me, what is going on out there? I jump out of the shower throw my hair in a towel throw on my robe and I am off, still wet of course trying to find out what they are all doing. Suddenly I hear giggling and the garage door shut as I was coming down the stairs so I do the whole "WHAT IS GOING ON DOWN THERE??" you have the bad one out of breath telling me he doesn't know anything. The sports junkie and spoiled one are in a bedroom playing (the sports junkie wants his own room so he is being nice right now thinking that will work, HA!) the confused one is in bed and the drama queen isn't home it HAS to be the bad one.

So I go out in the garage trying to find out what he has done, I scan and I see nothing out place. Back in the house, the towel is now falling off my head, the confused is awake from the garage door opening and closing who knows how many times. So I ask him again, WHAT IS GOING ON? He knows I am getting upset but still nothing, he doesn't know a thing. Well doesn't know a thing, it wasn't me, and I didn't do it all also live here but this time it wasn't one of them. The bad one can see my angry but isn't going to give up what is going on. I go back to the garage and open the door and go to take the trash out and my neighbor is out and tells me the bad one has been riding the garage door, WHAT!! I didn't even know you could do that. I swear what will they think to do next, I don't even want to know. Maybe I should never take a shower again because it is always things like this that happen to me. Like I said I want to be a "SHOWER GIRL!"